


100 Rules of being a fanguin

by MotherOfPoM



Category: Penguins of Madagascar
Genre: Funny, Gen, PoM - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 21:28:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6825001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MotherOfPoM/pseuds/MotherOfPoM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're not really rules...XD</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**One, don't make fun of ships: (The original text has been removed for how offensive it was)**

**Two, Skipper is always right: He's never wrong. He's always right.**

**Three, lunacorns are great knowledge: They are. Don't disagree. It'll make Pri cry.**

**Four, penguins are adorable If you don't agree then you're not a fanguin.**

**Five, don't question the king­ Or else you'll trip from a camera flash and and land in a trash can and end up in the New Jersey dump.**

**Six, don't touch amnesia spray...­ What are we talking about?**

**Seven, don't trust a puffin­ Don't do it or you'll never meet Skipper.**

**Eight, don't say the Red Squirrel isn't real­ It'll come to bite you in the butt.**

**Nine, don't trust science, it will not lead you to the love of your dreams.**

**Ten, don't lie to Private­ Or he'll call you a liar and that your pants are on fire.**


	2. Chapter Two

***Eleven: Make sure you ask Kowalski what's in the hot sauce bottle. it could be truth serum for all you know.**

**Twelve: Trust no one, or you'll be eaten by a snake**

**Thirteen: All the bad guys get the good stuff.**

**Fourteen: You don't want to witness a fish slapping by Skipper.**

**Fifteen: Don't trust anything you can't see or punch.**

**Sixteen: If nothing makes sense, wave your hand and whatever that problem.**

**Seventeen: There's no one hotter than Kowalski.**

**Eighteen: Stay away from Joey's habitat.**

**Nineteen: Punches hurt more than words.**

**Twenty: Everybody knows Kowalski and Doris don't really belong together.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *: This was suggested by ligersrcool from FanFiction.net. And you don't have to agree if you don't like it. This was just for fun.


	3. Chapter Three

**Twenty One: A grump can be a friend with just a hug.**

**Twenty Two: NEVER TRUST A BADAH! I mean badger.**

**Twenty Three: Slap a hippy the first chance you get.**

**Twenty Four: If at first you don't succeed, try again, if at 47 times, just give up.**

**Twenty Five: You do not ever get between a penguin and his water.**

**Twenty Six: There's no such thing as being too paranoid.**

**Twenty Seven: If Skipper wants to play Hot Potato, I suggest you run away like hell!**

**Twenty Eight: Keep your friends close and tie your enemies to a rocket and blast them away.**

**Twenty Nine: Salt doesn't melt space squids...**

**Thirty: A friend is just an enemy who hasn't attacked you yet.**


	4. Chapter Four

**Thirty One: You don't have to know something to like it.**

  
**Thirty Two: German Folk music is very bad for you.**

  
**Thirty Three: Christmas Steve knows if you've been bad or good.**

  
**Thirty Four: If given the option of going to Hoboken or plucking out your own eyeballs, plucking out your own eyeballs is**   
**the obvious and welcome choice.**

  
**Thirty Five: Soccer is football, it IS.**

  
**Thirty Six: If you're neighbor is your favorite food, you should eat them.**

  
**Thirty Seven: Brain and bootie, if you guys can't get along then we have a problem.**

 

**Thirty Eight: Reasoning is tedious and boring**

  
**Thirty Nine: Cool cars go faster.**

  
**Forty: Boy, girl, all that really matters is how well you use a pink bow whip in a crisis situation.**


	5. Chapter Five

**Forty One: If you're in the park, grab all the acorns, its money people.**

  
**Forty Two: Penguins can grow beards.**

  
**Forty Three: Penguins are dominate over chimps. And since our DNA to chimps only differ by one percent...Penguins**   
**dominate over us.**

  
**Forty Four: Aliens exist.**

 

**Forty Five: Castrotunity is a word.**

  
**Forty Six: Peas do not taste good.**

  
**Forty Seven: Never swim alone**

  
**Forty Eight: The best offense is a good defense.**

  
**Forty Nine: Magic is real.**

  
**Fifty: Being stupid makes you immune to pain.**


	6. Chapter Six

**Fifty One: It's always April 1st somewhere.**

  
**Fifty Two: The smart ones should always be the leader.**

  
**Fifty Three: Lunacorns have the power of imagination.**

  
**Fifty Four: Beware: Evil spirits are even capable of possessing cheese.**

  
**Fifty Five: It's possible to get Anchormanesia.**

  
**Fifty Six: BFF stands for buffalo fire fighter.**

  
**Fifty Seven: Lichee nuts can make you go crazy if you eat spoiled ones.**

 

**Fifty Eight: When watching TV, bring snacks and back­up snacks.**

  
**Fifty Nine: There was a squirrel... who was golden... we never knew his name, so we just call him The Golden Squirrel**

  
**Sixty: Clouds are made of cotton candy, not water vapor.**


	7. Chapter Seven

**Sixty One: Setting the Shrinky Shriker Ray on reverse makes it a Biggy Bigger Ray.**

 

**Sixty Two: You can lose your sense of rhythm and groove**

  
**Sixty Three: It is possible to be unable to read but be able to spell words correctly.**

  
**Sixty Four: Massage chairs make excellent body DNA scanners.**

  
**Sixty Five: Saying the word "capture" automatically makes any mission into a penguin mission.**

  
**Sixty Six: The quickest way to win a girls' heart is to sit on her egg through the long, cold winter.**

  
**Sixty Seven: Justice is blind.**

  
**Sixty Eight: Apparently the next big eclipse is 23 years from now, in Brazil.**

  
**Sixty Nine: Fish have googley eyes.**

  
**Seventy: When sleep­deprived, you're a LOT more paranoid than usual.**


	8. Chapter Eight

**Seventy One: Don't stick gum in stopwatches, they will stop time! Just ask Kowalski!**

  
**Seventy Two: Don't take away King Julien's crown, you won't like the dire consequences!**

  
**Seventy Three: You can use butter to defeat a snake.**

  
**Seventy Four: No one ever said you had to be sane to be a leader.**

  
**Seventy Five: There's a certain kind of hat­slap that professional criminals use.**

  
**Seventy Six: There's an eternal riddle involving the steering of an elephant.**

  
**Seventy Seven: Classified jokes are classified.**

  
**Seventy Eight: Beware of Graveyard 8**

  
**Seventy Nine: The riddle "how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood" is an ancient**   
**mystery that has haunted science since the dawn of time.**

  
**Eighty: Do not make the sky spirits mad cause they will put you in a little box!**


	9. Chapter Nine

**Eighty One: If you can't win the game you just have to change the playing field.**

**  
Eighty Two: Tall people have rights, too!**

**  
Eighty Three: Wear a gas mask when changing a diaper.**

**  
Eighty Four: Licorice is strong enough to tie an animal up!**

**  
Eighty Five: Your dancing skills can be bottled up.**

**  
Eighty six: You know Kowalski´s a sleeper if your sandwich explodes.**

**  
Eighty Seven: It is possible to freeze sound.**

**  
Eighty Eight: If you cannot join them... BEAT them.**

**  
Eighty Nine: A dolphin's brain is bigger than a penguin's body.**

**  
Ninety: Purple isn't a vegetable.**


	10. Chapter Ten

**Ninety One: Batteries are able to have grandchildren.**

  
**Ninety Two: In America, you aren't punished for being bad, you get rewarded for just NOT being bad.**

  
**Ninety Three: You can stop the fabric of time and space from ripping because of time travel by throwing in the time travel**   
**device in it.**

  
**Ninety Four: "Punch" is not a flavor. It's an imaginary force that will literally punch you.**

  
**Ninety Five: Pigeons loathe Commissioners.**

  
**Ninety Six: 15% of Hotdogs is made from actual dog**

  
**Ninety Seven: Always listen to your gut**

  
**Ninety Eight: Farms are creepy places**

  
**Ninety Nine: Bunnies may be small and cuddly, but can totally kick ass...As long as you're a king.**

  
**One hundred: Combining words is what cool people do**


End file.
